Feature
Review | Treasure Planet
Written by: Brian
Orndorf
Based on the adored 1912 novel “Treasure Island,” the animated
“Treasure Planet” updates the story to a far off alien world,
where a young Jim Hawkins (voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is setting
off on a course for a disappointing and adventure-free life. Danger
comes walking in one day when an old alien pirate leaves a treasure
map for Jim, warning him of dangerous pirate cyborgs who want the
untold riches that the map leads to. Jim decides to hunt for the
fortune himself and, with his friend Dr. Doppler (David Hyde Pierce),
joins the crew of a ship headed to that section of the universe. It is
on this vessel that Jim meets John Silver (Brian Murray), a crusty sea
dog of an alien who takes a liking to Jim, even through he has plans
to mutiny on the ship, and steal the map for himself.
“Treasure Planet” shares the same adventure vibe as 2001’s
summer offering, “Atlantis: The Lost Empire.” Yet, even with the
same adventure structure and Disneyfied writing, “Planet” is a
monotonous bore, where “Atlantis” was entertaining. “Planet”
continues the recent downfall of the Disney animation department, who
are entirely too dependant on dusty formulas and heart-string tugging
to ever make a truly satisfying picture anymore. “Treasure Planet”
suffers from the same fate because it wants to be everything at once,
but it lacks the story, animation, or writing to support that kind of
load. This leaves the picture with a rambling, gelatinous feel to it.
A strong adventure spine would’ve done just fine, but lessons about
friendship, growing up, parental abandonment, and responsibility dash
any hopes for a rip-roaring yarn. Co-directors Rom Clements and John
Musker (of “Aladdin” fame, but also of the unceasingly crappy
“Hercules”) even bring out the heavy artillery, a montage scored
to a Goo Goo Dolls song, to help whittle away any integrity the film
had up until this point. Disney has a rigid formula for everything
they do, and as seen in “Lilo And Stitch,” this formula is wearing
out its welcome quickly.
In bringing “Treasure Island” up to date, the writers (of which
there are many) go a little overboard conjuring up new lands and ideas
for the long-standing Robert Louis Stevenson tale. So much so that
it’s a constant irritant when watching the film. Normally, Disney
films do a fantastic job laying out the geographical groundwork when
the story involves strange new world and characters. “Treasure
Planet” does not. It plops the viewer right into the heart of this
bizarre universe, crammed with all kinds of assorted monsters, flying
pirate ships, Dog-men, Cat-women, black holes, and intestinal
languages (more on that soon). It gets to a point where the screenplay
could make up anything to get itself out of a corner, and the audience
has no choice but to go with it. It’s all very pretty and artistic,
but doesn’t make sense. This wouldn’t be such a problem with
another film, but “Treasure Planet” is such a mixture of all kinds
of sights and sounds, that the lack of uniformity becomes distracting.
The writing gets so appalling, that they actually have one
character, resembling a giant slug-like creature, who emits only
farting noises when he speaks (a language called “Flatula” in the
film). Hmmmm, classy.
This might please the 8 year-olds, but more discerning fans of
animation, and adventure are likely to be disappointed with how slack
and tedious this latest Disney offering is.
Grade: 3 out of 10
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