DVD Review | Top Secret!
Written by: Kage Alan

Film Rating: B
DVD Special Features: B

Before "The Naked Gun", before "Hot Shots!", before "Ghost", but after "Gone With The Wind", there was "Top Secret!".  What's so top secret about the film?  I don't have a clue, but we're talking about the same people who also
brought us "Airplane!", so what do you expect?  Expect a huge number of
jokes, half of which will fall flat, but also half that won't, that's what.  
Part of the fun of seeing this movie now (it was made in 1984) is watching
all the dated humor and trying to wrack your brains out remembering the
inspiration.  It's all good, though.

So, what is all the nonsense about?  Cedric (Omar Sharif, "Funny Lady") is an
agent for the resistance in East Germany assisting a young lady whose father
is missing.  You see, the Germans are up to no good and using Hillary's (Lucy
Gutteridge, "Tusks") father, the brilliant scientist Dr. Flammond (Michael
Gough, "Batman"), to do their dirty work.  The how and why of it is entirely
incidental to the jokes and musical numbers that take place on the screen.  
What musical numbers?  As part of their world domination plan, the Germans
have invited some big name music artists to take place in a festival.  Among
them is Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer, "Real Genius"), an American Rock N' Roll
singer.

Hillary is chased by the German police one evening and ends up being rescued
by Nick.  The two begin a whirlwind romance as they are chased by soldiers,
arrested, tortured, make daring escapes and find time for plenty of Elvis
spoofing.  Much like "The Naked Gun" series, the plot is secondary to the
physical comedy and there's quite a bit of if here.  From male dancers with
erections large enough for a ballerina to jump from one to the other to a cow
gag that shouldn't work, yet does, "Top Secret" works just enough to keep us
watching from beginning to end and wondering what the Zucker brothers are
going to throw at us next.

Paramount has gifted us with a fairly decent Widescreen transfer of the film
with a Dolby Surround audio track that really enhances the musical numbers.  
The picture quality isn't quite pristine and does feature some flecks, specs
and other defects, but they're minor.  As for extras, we have the film's
trailer, 4 alternate scenes (which are really quite amusing and I can't
understand why they were cut), storyboards for three sequences and a group
commentary featuring directors Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker,
producers Jon Davison, Hung Lowry and moderator Fred Rubin.  I've heard
previous commentaries with the Zuckers and have been thoroughly unimpressed, only this one has a bit more bite to it.  It's still not a fantastic
commentary, but it is pretty decent and the moderator does make attempts to
keep the conversation going.

It's hard to believe this was Val Kilmer's first movie and equally hard to
believe the filmmakers managed to secure the great Omar Sharif and Peter
Cushing for roles in it, but here it all is and here they all are.  The
Zuckers/Abrahams pictures became funnier and funnier as they progressed and I wish they'd continue to do more, but we do have "Top Secret" to enjoy in the
meantime.  I'd always been curious about this one and did enjoy it, only not
as much as the films they came out with after this one.  Still, it's evident
that Val Kilmer had a bright future ahead of him.  If only he can stay away
from films like "Hard Cash", he might still be able to achieve greatness once
more.  It's nice to see that Paramount did something with this release.  Nice
going, gang.