Feature Review: Attack of the Clones (Take two)
Written by: Kage Alan

Rated: 7/10     

I'd be an idiot to say that I wouldn't give this film a chance after the
dreary Episode 1.  Yes, I disliked the majority of "The Phantom Menace",
especially the little kid, Jar-Jar and the racial stereotyping going on with
all the aliens.  I didn't find any of it amusing in the least, but that's
then, though, and this is now.  The question that's on everybody's minds is
whether or not this film is any better than the previous one.  Absolutely and
by leaps and bounds!

"Attack of the Clones" starts right off with a bang.  Senator Amidala
(Natalie Portman) arrives to address the senate about a very important vote
and barely escapes an attempt on her life.  Who want her dead and why?  
Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) wants her protected, so he
assigns Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden
Christensen) to the job.  It doesn't take long before another attempt is made
and the plot thickens.  Obi-Wan heads out to find who hired the assassin
while Anakin takes Amidala back to her home world.  Meanwhile, the Jedi
council becomes aware of how clouded the future is because of the strong Dark Side presence.

Without giving an excessive amount of plot points away, several systems in
the Republic have begun to break away and those remaining loyal want an armyto defend them in case a Civil War should break out.  Fair enough, but theseevents have been carefully manipulated into life during the last 10 years by
a Sith Lord.  Many of these people are just pawns in a much larger plot that
begins to take great shape by the end of the film.  The Republic wants a
Clone army, which turns out to be designed by bounty hunter Jango Fett
(Temuera Morrison) no less, and the opposition has their own army and is led
by former Jedi Count Dooku (Christopher Lee).  The stage is set and the
battle is joined.

Whereas "Phantom Menace" could easily be summed up in a single paragraph,
"Clones" is extremely plot heavy and there are too many threads to cover
here.  Well, there's that and I really don't want to give a play by play of
the entire plot.  The first half of the film is a real groaner.  Lucas
mistakenly assumes we already care about the characters returning from the
first film and I'm sorry to say that I couldn't have cared less if ANY of
them showed up again.  The story jumps right into action before we've had a
chance to settle into our seats and that feels like a mistake because, as I
said, I didn't care whether the Senator lived or died.  There's no connection
or bond with her or any of the others like there was in Episodes IV-VI.

The dialogue is atrocious and Anakin needs a spanking and a time out.  Once
the plot starts to reveal its complexities, though, the film starts to kick
into high gear.  Unfortunately, and we're still talking about the first half
here, everything comes to a screaming halt as Anakin does the whole weepy
eyed exchange and Amidala plays hard to get.  Give me a break!  Thank God Jar Jar isn't in this film for more than a few minutes, only his actions just
reinforce my belief that somebody should have shot him in the head during
"The Phantom Menace".  The cutesy factor is still alive and well too as
Obi-Wan interrupts Yoda teaching a room full of pint sized toddlers learning
about the Force.  Ugh…

What does work in the first half is that Lucas introduces something referred
to as "PLOT".  We actually have some intrigue and mystery here, which Obi-Wan attempts to solve.  The fight sequence between him and Jango Fett is
absolutely incredible!  I'd only dreamed as a kid of one day seeing what
Fett's armor and weapons could really do when in battle and I felt like a kid
again watching it.

The second half of the film is where Lucas really shines.  Not only does he
make up for the first half, but he finds his groove and I did start to bond
with the characters and feel for their situation.  There is a huge amount of
action in the final third and I have to say that I sat there with my jaw on
the ground a number of times and wishing I was 15 years younger again!  Wow!  Not only do we finally get to see Jedi battle the bad guys en masse, but we'll also get to see what happens when Yoda is provoked.  You'll never doubt the little green guy again.

Acting in the film end on a decent note, but is so hampered in the first act
by stomach wrenching dialogue that you end up disliking the actors instead of
the writer(s).  "You'll always be that little boy on Tatooine." Oh, please.
That little boy grew up and is eyeing your breasts.  What do you think he's
thinking about?  Sand castles?  The less the characters talk about their
inner feelings, the better the film became.  Hats off to Heyden Christensen
because he managed to pull it off.  He was a solid choice.  The druids are
once again the comic relief here as it seems C3PO and R2D2 are well on their
way to getting married.  Fortunately, elements that take form in later
episodes are shaped here as well, which begins to give the series a more
complete feel to it.  We know where everything started, now we know it's in
motion and we know how it all ends.  What we don't know yet is how it gets
there, visually anyway.

No matter how poor the first half is in my mind, Episode II ultimately
delivers the goods and I have to say that I'm in awe.  If Lucas can finish
what he started in the next film, we will be in for a real treat.  "Clones"
isn't targeting younger viewers, so adults will FINALLY have something to
sink their teeth into.  Thanks, George.  You made me believe again.