Book Review & Interview | Nonstop Networking: How To Improve Your Life, Luck and Career 
By Andrea R. Nierenberg
Capital Books, Inc.
Written by: Marianne Moro

          As any prosperous entertainer, executive or professional can tell you, knowledge of the industry you work in, experience and perseverance can only get you so far up the ladder of success. Networking is the make or break tactic that separates the wheat from the chafe in the real world. Andrea R. Nierenberg's Nonstop Networking: How To Improve Your Life, Luck and Career, is a succinct, fun to read guide that serves as a refresher course in business socializing for those of us who may find our careers stuck in limbo.
Nonstop Networking's ten chapters deal with such issues as the art of starting (and maintaining) a conversation, identifying communication styles, and organizing your contact database. The book also contains an index of 52 networking skills. This slim, common sense volume is a must-have title for your business bookshelf.

I conducted an interview with Nonstop Networking's author, Andrea
Nierenberg, "The Queen Of Networking" last week. Andrea has worked as a consultant for many companies including AOL Time Warner, Estée Lauder, and Zenith Media.  She teaches workshops and seminars for business clients, and is a sought-after speaker for conferences and conventions throughout the world. After studying Andrea's  advice, even the most reticent among us will be inspired to develop our own networking plan and put it into action.

1- Name some common mistakes people make when they begin networking and how they can be corrected.
Andrea Nierenberg: Often people are too interested in what they can get-rather than what they can give. My philosophy is that the number one thing is to be a resource to others. Give first and find ways to make connections and help others. You may be lucky enough down the road to have it come back. People often act very pushy and trying to sell someone something-stop take the time to ask politely for advice and listen and learn from everyone.
Many people also act "desperate"---don't---take the time no matter what is going on to be empathetic and put yourself in the other's shoes. Who would want to help someone who is only out for themselves and acts out of desperation?
Many people forget to follow up and say thank you---no matter what. Take the time to always keep people in the loop-the person who referred you, the person you met with-everyone to say thank you.

2- Business cards are the "currency" of networking. Do you have any tips how to make your card stand out in the crowd?
Treat a business card like a piece of gold-that is the other person's. When I get a card, I treat it like when I'm in Asia-I look at it-remark on it's quality and ask the person a question. I'm careful not to stash it in my pocket carelessly.
Make sure your card has all the appropriate information-name, full address, email, phone and perhaps a logo. Clean, easy to read and neat. Forget all the bells and whistles. That's why you're there to talk about what you do.

3- E-mail is a relatively new networking tool. Is it as effective as in-person or phone contact and should it ever be used as the sole method of communication?
Email is a wonderful tool that technology has given us. It helps us follow up no matter where or when we are. I have closed deals from Hong Kong and Europe by emailing back or sending follow up messages. It does not however -ever replace either the face to face or phone or even the personal hand written note, which I use constantly as a follow up tool.
Make what you do personal. One thing though, I always ask someone-"What is the best way for us to stay in touch"-if they say-"email"-I follow suit and always email them. I keep track of this in my database, which I explain in my book.

4- A skillful networker has to be a bit of an amateur psychologist. Explain the differences between types of "communicators" and how we can spot them quickly. 
Some people are very direct and bottom line-others want to explain everything point by point and have an agenda; others like to schmooze and talk about everything. Use your gut and intuition-watch and observe with both your ears and eyes and follow suit as you communicate with others. Very rarely will someone say:"Hi-I'm direct-get to the point!" However, they will show you with their actions and it's up to us to flex our own style accordiningly.

5- Are some people born net workers? Is it a skill that can be learned? 
Yes-it is a skill that can be learned whether you are a 'quiet' or introverted person or an extroverted person. Both groups by the way-can take some great lessons from each other, which I address, in my "quiet " chapter.
The great key-is to listen and learn from others-ask open-ended high gain questions and find ways to make connections for others.

6- Is there a thin line between being assertive and being pushy?  How can we prevent ourselves from crossing that line? 
Again-use your intuition-your gut. Be assertive-ask for advice and use empathy-know when and how. As I always say-have Pep-perseverance, enthusiasm and patience---not pushiness, and wanting everything now. Yes the line is very thin!

7- What record keeping (or database) systems work the best? Should different ones be used for contacts in different industries, etc.? Also, is there a set "timetable" that works best for "keeping in touch" (i.e.. contact a particular person once a month to touch base) 
I say-make the system work for you. I use a simple system that works for me that I keep in my Microsoft database. I have different lists of people-a-b-c-d and each group gets different ways to stay in touch according to where they are. The list continually grows and sometimes people go from list a-c and vice versa. Many who have read my book have thanked me for giving them permission to use a low-tech system. I say-design what works for you-otherwise you won't use it.

8- In your book you mentioned something I've always wondered about - renewing a "lapsed" business relationship. Is there any such thing as letting too much time elapse between contacts?
It is impossible to stay in touch with everyone all the time. When you go back to someone after a period of time-I write a note that I mail out. It might be: Hi Marianne, we haven't talked for a while. I wanted to touch base, see how you are and perhaps gets some thoughts and advice from you."
Whatever feels comfortable for you.
Why do I send it in the mail-it gives them a chance to read it-not delete or hang up on the message and it can be diffusing. I haven't said== I need help or please call me. I take the full responsibility, and first, I drop a note to diffuse the shock if you will of coming out from the "blast from the past" syndrome.

9- Why is networking such an overwhelming process to some people? Why do you think it is so hard for even some "extroverted" people to talk to or contact a potential business associate? 
Networking is a very misunderstood word. It has often given the connotation that we do it only when we need something or want to sell something.  People almost feel that image come up when they have to get in touch with someone new. It is clearly a self-inflicted negative image that they have allowed to be created and can be changed. My thought again-is give first and learn about the other before asking for anything.

10 - Tell me about some of the gutsier net workers you've known - people who've taken extraordinary "out of their league" chances and succeeded.
People think I'm gutsy because I have met all kinds of people and gotten into a lot of closed doors. I follow a basic simple format-do your homework in advance, know something about the person or group you want to meet-find a way to get in touch creatively and then follow up. People are often impressed with your creativity, knowledge of them, research and action.

11- Which technique is better - "selective" networking or approaching as many prospects as possible?
In my book-it's all about quality versus quantity. I am not one that walks into any room and throws my card around like confetti. I want to connect and follow up with several. On the other hand-every single person you meet, no matter what their position, level or whether they can "help you" is important and needs to be treated that way. I am very clear about this one.

12- What are the unique strengths of the introverted networker?
Usually they are great listeners, they do their homework and research and ask great questions. AS I say in my book-they use a POST it plan===they plan according to their personality, they are organized and ask open ended questions to learn, they follow their own system and script and they know things take time. They have great patience.

13 - Is the art of the written, "snail-mail" letter still important in today's business world? Has it taken on more significance as a distinctive form of communication or is it a fossil in business situations?
In my book-it is my 37-cent investment plan. I write 3 handwritten notes a day-15 at the end of the week and by the end of the year, I have connected with 750 people to say thank you, follow up, stay in touch whatever. It is an art that still tells someone you really took the time and you added the personal touch.

14- What are some unique ways to keep in touch with clients, i.e. sending article clippings they might be interested in, etc.)
Articles, birthday cards, interesting news about their industry, and a copy of a magazine on a hobby of theirs, or a gift or something that reminds you of them that said-"I was thinking of you" I also send postcards from wherever as a Keep in touch method.

15- Many of Modamag's readers are involved in acting, filmmaking or modeling. Do you have any special suggestions for people in these very competitive fields?
Every field is competitive and I find that every industry feels that theirs is the most. Use the same strategies and techniques-just use them targeted to your specific audience and use them consistently. Like I said in my book-5 simple steps: Meet people and nurture you current network, Listen and learn from everyone, Make connections  for others-be a resource, Follow up and Stay in touch.
You do reap what you sew.