Movie Review | Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
Reviewed by: Brian Orndorf

I’ll admit it, I like sequels. I love ongoing stories that envelop the viewer, along with opportunities to dig in deeper with characters and situations. And then there’s “Legally Blonde 2,” an impulsive cash-in from a hit-starved studio. It reeks of a rush job sent out to steal the remaining good will left behind by the original film.

After her Harvard triumphs two years ago, Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is now living the comfortable life working in a law office, and planning her nuptials to Emmett (Luke Wilson). Her first priority is helping her chiwawa, Bruiser, find out who his mother is. The quest brings Elle to an animal testing facility where Bruiser‘s mother is held. Unable to rescue her, Elle heads to Washington D.C. to try and pass a bill ending the use of animals for cosmetic testing. Upon arrival, Elle’s vibrant nature is at odds with her co-workers (Regina King, Mary Lynn Rajskub), but soon her Prada personality and Versace sense of style begins to rub off on the stuffy politicians, with only one lone senator (Sally Field) out to block Elle’s popular bill.

Watching “Legally Blonde 2,” I kept having to remind myself that I enjoyed the first “Blonde” film back in 2001. “Blonde” was a quiet, modest powder puff of a movie, relying on Reese Witherspoon’s debatable charm, and director Robert Luketic’s winning amount of flair he pumped into the film. “Blonde” was eventually stolen by ace comic actress Jennifer Coolidge (“Best In Show“), turning the often feeble comedy into huge laughs. Scrambling for a sequel when “Blonde” turned into a worldwide hit, “Blonde 2” becomes a mess. It’s an obnoxious, ugly sequel that reminds me why sequels often get such a bad rap.

Replacing Luketic in “Blonde 2” is director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld. His previous film was the endurance-testing lesbian comedy “Kissing Jessica Stein,” and Herman-Wurmfeld brings those very same attributes to “Blonde 2.” He’s an agonizingly bland director, framing each shot as if it was a made-for-television production, and taking the pizzazz out of what is trying to be a colorful production. This movie genuinely looks terrible (shot by Elliot Davis, “White Oleander“), which is especially depressing when you take into consideration the greater amount of money they had for this production. The flat design of the film works directly against the pinkified good time fun that the film is purporting.

The choices for comedy are also suspect in “Blonde 2.” By this time, the Elle Woods fish-out-of-water material is pretty wheezy, having been worked out thoroughly in the first picture. That doesn’t stop the screenwriters and Herman-Wurmfeld from trying to squeeze laughs from that teat again; placing Elle in the crusty confines of Washington, and praying the contrast will do the rest of the work. Another mistake was paying so much attention to Bruiser. Cute in “Blonde,” Bruiser is actually made part of the story in “Blonde 2,” and the director gets a little carried away cutting to the canine’s reaction whenever he needs a cheap and easy laugh. The screenplay also reveals the dog’s homosexual leanings, which is as bizarre as it reads. Nothing screams “WE’VE GOT NOTHING, FOLKS!” than having a gay dog subplot in your movie. Well, that and forcing comedian Bob Newhart to say “Fa Shizzle.” Terrible.

Forced to sit through Witherspoon’s tired shopgirl act for yet another film (there’s only so much her smile can do to help her), hope was promised with the return of Jennifer Coolidge as one of Elle’s friends. I was heartbroken, however, to discover that Herman-Wurmfeld had coached Coolidge to yell all of her lines out, mistaking volume for a pathway to hilarity. Out of sheer talent, Coolidge manages to get the only laugh out of the film. Her presence is wasted, cranked up to the unbearable pitch the rest of the picture plays at.

“Legally Blonde” never quite begged for a sequel, so it should come as little shock that the quality of this follow up is as rickety as Witherspoon’s charm after 90 minutes of Elle. 

Grade: 1/10