DVD
Review | Decoys
Written by: Kage
Alan
With the Japanese, Chinese and…well, heck, just
about every Asian country it seems making a name for themselves in the
horror genre (and without a ton of gore, thank you so much) while the
US goes and remakes them (horribly I might add), it seemed only
natural that the Canadians would try their hand in bringing something
to the screen, too. Would they go for a story that’s more cerebral?
Would they strive for genuine thrills and scares over gore and
cheesiness? Suffice to say that they went for the grandiose
gratuitous T&A shots that apparently every horror-genre-watching
red-blooded male is looking for on a Friday or Saturday night. Only,
there’s a catch…
Young cute college freshman Luke (Corey Sevier) is
ever on the prowl for some of the local ladies to throw themselves upon
him. We’ve all known this person, only he is at the same time, unlike
those people we know, likeable. Imagine his surprise, however, when two
gorgeous blondes named Lilly (Stefanie von Pfetten) and Constance (Kim
Poirier) come on to him in the laundry room. It doesn’t take long to
realize this guy is going to have to be washing a ton of socks in the
next day or two based on his hormonal reactions. A gesture of kindness
in returning their quarters, though, reveals a rather interesting
discovery.
Less-than-lucky Luke soon goes around telling those
he can trust that the two lusty ladies are actually aliens and
that…“things” come whipping out of their stomachs when it’s cold
enough. It all sounds pretty ludicrous until several of the boys around
campus are found frozen solid, quite dead. Are the aliens just out for
a good time and a quick kill or do they have something else in mind?
Perhaps trying to mate? After all, even aliens get horny. Don’t you
ever wonder what would happen if what we perceive as female aliens were
really trying to get the men to have their babies? Hey, I’ve had kidney
stones and it’s said that it’s the closest a man will ever come to
feeling what childbirth is like. Ain’t gonna happen! Luke therefore
decides to fight back. Will he win? Watch and learn.
“Decoys” may not be the most original films to come
our way, but it is admittedly an entertaining one. Premarital sex? Bad
idea. Sex with cute blondes in college? Even worse idea. The acting
tends to be pretty hammy, the special effects are reminiscent of a
typical made-for-Sci-Fi TV movie and the film ultimately doesn’t pretend
to be something other than entertainment. The ending, however, is a bit
of a disappointment and the promise of a sequel will see fruition with
the tentatively slated “Decoys 2” due to arrive on shelves sometime in
2005. Do I smell a possible franchise here? Guess it’ll depend on how
well the second film does.
Sony has released “Decoys” in its original
Widescreen format. Video quality is fairly decent for being low-budget
fair and audio isn’t an incredible disappointment. As for extras,
there’s a bit of a disappointment factor here. The US release (which
I’m reviewing) contains “The Making of Decoys” (21 ½ min) and some
trailers. That’s it. Sounds about normal, right? Well, as with the
release of another film called “Ginger Snaps,” our version of the disc
is lacking while the Canadian release has a bit more. In this case, the
Canadian disc has deleted scenes and bloopers. Why was this not
included in the US version? I’m giving a lower mark in the extras
because of this.
Now that we’ve met the female species of “Decoys,”
perhaps it’s time we met the males. Instead of all that gratuitous T&A,
maybe somebody will come up with a horror sequel that’s for the
ladies…or my kind. I’m all for equal opportunity horror mating, so how
about it? I think I’ve actually just talked myself into trying to find
the director and write him an e-mail suggesting just that. In the
meantime, sit back and enjoy the eye-candy in “Decoys.”
Film Rating:
B-
DVD Special Features: C
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